Animal Aid

My name is Emma Hartwell, I live in Leamington Spa and work full time as IT Manager for a charity called Thare Machi Education. A few months ago I received an email from a vegetarian society asking for volunteers to take part in the Kill it, Cook it, Eat it show. I had watched the show previously and, although I found it very disturbing, I felt it was thought provoking and educational. So I decided to apply.

Within a few days I had been invited to be a contributor on the show. This involved flying to Scotland and filming the entire process of game hunting; from killing the animal to skinning, cooking and finally eating it. I had no idea about what was involved in game hunting but was assured that I did not have to take part in anything I felt uncomfortable with. The main aim of this part of the show was to create a foundation from which we could debate the morals of killing animals. At this point I didn’t know what animal we were supposed to be hunting, only that it involved game. As a vegetarian I am against hunting and the slaughter of animals but wanted to take part in the debate - so I felt I had to see the process for myself.

When I arrived in Scotland I was introduced to Alan, the man who owned the estate, and did a short interview on how I felt about the impending hunt. I was terrified about the prospect of watching an animal die and worried that I wouldn’t connect with any of the other contributors (there were 9 of us in total). I was also concerned that the debate would be unbalanced, mainly from the meat eaters perspective, as I had read opinions that the show is usually weighted towards that point of view.

On the first day of shooting we were all given a gun to suit our body size and divided into three groups of three. I was starting to realise that the only other vegetarian in the group intended to eat meat, which made me feel sad and isolated. We were then trained to use the guns for clay pigeon shooting. This was great fun, no animals involved through! The next day was the real shoot, the day I had been dreading! We were all allocated a minder, someone to watch over us out on the Moors. The animal we were hunting was announced as grouse. I had never heard of this bird before, I think it is sold in posh places only. It is a tiny bird that lives in the undergrowth, living off seeds. It doesn’t fly very high and lives in colonies.

We were lined across the moor while dogs went running ahead to scare the grouse out from the undergrowth. The contributors were getting very competitive at this point, talking about who had the most killer instinct. Very quickly the hunt had begun and the first grouse was shot. That is when I started crying, I couldn’t help myself. The poor birds were terrified - basically frightened out of the undergrowth then shot in mid air. What chance did they stand against a person with a gun? It was an awful experience and I am afraid I had to be escorted off the moor in tears. After the hunt had finished I was informed that most people didn't get the chance to shoot a bird because there were not enough about, but two men came back with their faces smeared with blood, all hyped up from the kill.

Later that evening we watched a video featuring someone from “The League Against Cruel Sports” on the ethics of grouse hunting. Here it came to light that, in order to keep the grouse population high, they have to cull all of it's natural predators. This is done with traps and killing sprees - totally horrible. This is when two other contributors changed their minds about the ethics of hunting. This was a high point for me as I had felt quite isolated up to this point; I was thrilled to have two more people ready to fight for the rights of these poor animals.

So why has the show changed my life? As a vegetarian I had already decided to stop eating meat because I didn't agree with taking the life of an animal for my dinner when there are alternatives available. Throughout the show I had to do some real soul searching; although I didn’t eat meat I wore leather, ate eggs and drank milk, all of which are by-products of the meat industry. So, for me to be up on my soap box talking about the cruelty of killing animals meant I was being a hypocrite. This had to change, so now, after careful consideration I am vegan and I am trying to live my life as humanely as possible. I did get a hard time from the other contributors, I think they found me a challenge, but this was to be expected as I was the only vegetarian. The whole show has made me more determined to never eat meat again and in quiet times I feel a deep overwhelming sadness that this barbaric behaviour goes on.

Unfortunately the more you know the harder it is to ignore the cruelty that goes on in the world. I know that a lot of people reading this might not be vegan and, although I would love it if we all gave up meat, I realise that this isn’t realistic. If people are willing to take a step towards living a more ethical life then they are part of the solution and not the problem. Each step is in the right direction and that is all anyone can ask. Maybe one day you might just take that leap.